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雙語(yǔ)：如何擺脫無(wú)謂的煩惱
導(dǎo)讀：煩惱，指令人不順心或不暢快的人或事;也可以是一個(gè)形容詞，指不順心不暢快，煩悶苦惱。語(yǔ)出《百喻經(jīng)·五人買婢共使作喻》:"五陰亦爾，煩惱因緣合成此身。而此五陰，恒以生老病死無(wú)量苦惱搒笞眾生。"
Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren't caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.
許多問(wèn)題的造成其實(shí)并不是因?yàn)槲覀冏约哼\(yùn)氣差或者別人有意為之。事實(shí)上，這些問(wèn)題往往是由我們自己的壞習(xí)慣產(chǎn)生的。這里列出了十個(gè)習(xí)慣希望能夠幫助你擺脫這些自己造成的麻煩又沒(méi)必要的煩惱：
Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people's difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they're thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.
不要過(guò)早下結(jié)論。過(guò)早下結(jié)論會(huì)通過(guò)兩條途徑為你制造麻煩。第一是，你會(huì)認(rèn)為自己已經(jīng)了解所有的事情的發(fā)展，所以不再重視這件事情，而按照自己假設(shè)的發(fā)展方式操作事情�？上祟惒⒉皇且环N會(huì)算命的種類，所以大部分的假設(shè)都是錯(cuò)誤的，這樣也導(dǎo)致的事情常常失敗;第二是，你會(huì)猜測(cè)別人的想法并且會(huì)做出假設(shè)，同樣的，這些假設(shè)通常也是錯(cuò)誤的。而且這些愚蠢的假設(shè)也導(dǎo)致了你與他人的關(guān)系被破壞。
Don't dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don't exist or are so insignificant they aren't worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it's silly as well as destructive.
不要小題大做。很多人因?yàn)橐恍┬〈煺鄣拇碳ざ龀鲞^(guò)激的反應(yīng)。小題大做使人變得緊張兮兮，產(chǎn)生過(guò)多的憂慮。
Don't invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What's the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.
不要發(fā)明規(guī)則。過(guò)分的使用“應(yīng)該”和“應(yīng)當(dāng)”是沒(méi)必要的。這些詞除了讓你感到緊張外，不會(huì)有任何用處。為什么?因?yàn)楫?dāng)你使用這些發(fā)明的規(guī)則時(shí)，你會(huì)變得受約束和有孩子氣的命令口氣。而當(dāng)你試圖將這些規(guī)則強(qiáng)加于他人時(shí)，只會(huì)讓別人對(duì)你產(chǎn)生厭惡的情緒(霸權(quán)，自以為是的)
Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what's there. Don't label. You'll be surprised at what you find.
避免給他人扣帽子。對(duì)別人否定的評(píng)價(jià)也會(huì)限制你對(duì)他的看法和想法。所以，避免預(yù)先給別人扣帽子，說(shuō)不定你就可以發(fā)現(xiàn)別人其他不同一般的地方。
Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn't all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you'll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you'll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.
別做完美主義者。生活并非十全十美的。若尋找一個(gè)完美的工作職位，卻永遠(yuǎn)找不到它，而一些看起來(lái)好的也并非那么好。追求完美主義是一種精神基本，它會(huì)摧毀你的一切快樂(lè)并且建立一堆你不可能實(shí)現(xiàn)的目標(biāo)。
Don't over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn't turn you into a genius. A single event-good or bad-or even two or three don't always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.
不要過(guò)分概括。一兩次的挫折并不意味著永遠(yuǎn)失敗，幾次成功也不能說(shuō)明你是一個(gè)天才。一件事--好或壞--或者二或三件事并不代表永久的趨勢(shì)。一件事的成敗就是它的成敗，不要過(guò)分夸大其失敗的教訓(xùn)和成功的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。
Don't take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren't talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don't especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren't personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.
不要懷疑別人在討論自己。大部分的人，包括你的朋友和同事，在99%的時(shí)間內(nèi)并沒(méi)有討論你或者考慮你。很多職位的同事和鄰居甚至都不會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)你。別人對(duì)你的態(tài)度冷熱大部分都非私人的想法。不斷地懷疑別人在討論自己只會(huì)讓你多疑和痛苦。
Don't assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn't always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn't make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won't change because you feel bad-nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren't the truth.
不要總憑直覺(jué)判斷。你的直覺(jué)并不是總是一個(gè)正確的指示器，因?yàn)槟阒挥X(jué)得會(huì)這樣，但“覺(jué)得”并不說(shuō)明這就就會(huì)是正確的。未來(lái)并不會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕闹庇X(jué)感覺(jué)會(huì)這樣而改變。感覺(jué)可能是真的，但不一定是對(duì)的。
Don't let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you'll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It's amazing what isn't there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you'll find those too.
不要讓生活拖垮你，學(xué)著樂(lè)觀一些。如果你期盼有壞事發(fā)生，想必常常都真的發(fā)生了。一個(gè)消極的人對(duì)于事物的看法都是扭曲的，他會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)世界是灰暗的，到處都是污點(diǎn)。換個(gè)方向想，如果你嘗試去尋找一些積極的事情，你也一定會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)它們的。
Don't hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you'll feel and the bigger they'll look. Don't try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you've removed just about all its power to hurt you.
不要沉迷于過(guò)去不可自拔。這是我認(rèn)為這是最重要的一點(diǎn)：放開(kāi)那些已經(jīng)過(guò)去的事情，繼續(xù)你的生活。很多的憤怒、沮喪、痛苦和絕望都是因?yàn)槌撩杂谶^(guò)去的傷害和問(wèn)題而造成的。你把這些已經(jīng)過(guò)去的事情看得越重要，你的生活也就越沉重，你也更難從傷害中擺脫。不要嘗試與這些過(guò)去的事件爭(zhēng)斗，因?yàn)樗鼈円呀?jīng)過(guò)去了，所以放開(kāi)手，往前走。
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