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做個聆聽者:10招改掉愛插嘴的壞毛病

學人智庫 時間:2018-02-08 我要投稿
【www.lotusphilosophies.com - 學人智庫】

  We've all been there — an amazing idea pops into your head and, without even realizing it, you've interrupted whomever is speaking to share your thought.

  我們都有過這樣的經(jīng)歷——當一個精彩的點子從我們腦子里蹦出來的時候,我們就會當即向別人分享自己的這一想法,甚至沒有意識到我們正在打斷別人。

  Talking over others stops the flow of conversation and is also disrespectful to the person speaking. This faux pas is forgivable from time to time, but when it becomes a persistent characteristic, interrupting may cost you your job. and even a few friends.

  打斷別人說話阻礙了談話的順利進行,并且顯得對說話者不尊重。這種失禮的行為有時候會被對方原諒,但是如果演變?yōu)橐环N習慣就會使你丟掉自己的飯碗,甚至失去朋友。

  Along with learning how to be patient, retraining your brain to change how it responds to instant ideas can curb your interrupting ways. Here are a few tips to take into consideration:

  除了學習怎樣使自己變得更有耐心,你還要重新訓練自己的大腦,改變其對突發(fā)靈感的反應,這樣你便能控制自己而不去打斷別人。你可以考慮一下下面的幾招。

  1.Write it down: When listening, if a great thought comes to mind, discretely write it down in a notebook while keeping up with the conversation, especially when meeting with senior managers or important clients. Wait for a break in conversation before asserting your opinion or new ideas.

  1.記下你的想法:當你在傾聽時,如果你想到了一個好點子,那就一邊聽對話在講什么一邊把你的想法記下來,特別是在傾聽高級管理層或是重要客戶講話的時候。等到休息的時間再表達自己的觀點或新點子。

  2.Ask a question: Instead of busting someone's talking flow, wait until the end of a thought and share your view phrased as a question. Yes, you're still cutting in, but asking a question creates an opportunity to offer new ideas and thoughts while sticking with the direction of the discussion.

  2.采取詢問的方式:等一個新點子在你腦中從出現(xiàn)到成形后用一種提問的方式向?qū)Ψ奖磉_出來,而不是直接打斷別人的談話。這樣,你依然是在插話,但是使用詢問的方式給你表達新點子提供了機會,同時沒有改變你們談話的方向。

  3.Get help: Enlist an office buddy or good friend to tip you off when you interrupt. Come up with a special hand signal or give your helper the OK to deliver a swift kick under the table to curb your interrupting ways.

  3.尋求幫助:尋求一名辦公伙伴或者是好朋友在你打斷別人時給你提示?梢韵氤鲆粋特殊的手勢或者允許你的幫手在你打斷別人時在桌下及時踢你一腳。

  4.Take a breath: The next time you have an idea you can't contain, simply open your mouth and take a quick, short breath. This tricks the mind into thinking that you've expressed yourself, creating a moment to focus and write the idea down instead of blurting it out.

  4.呼吸法:下一次當你有了新點子沒法控制自己不說出口時,只要張開嘴巴做一個短促的呼吸。這將會使你的大腦誤以為你已經(jīng)表達了自己的觀點,并且給你時間去思考和記下自己的點子,而不是不假思索地說出口。

  5.Practice impulse control: Keeping your impulse control in check is the key to curbing the bad habit of interrupting. When you have the urge to interrupt, do something to forget. Remove a ring from one finger and put it on another, make an X on a sheet of paper, or simply count to 10 in your head. Before you know it, you'll be able to comfortably control your need to interrupt.

  5.控制沖動:抑制自己的沖動是抑制打斷別人的壞習慣的關鍵所在。當你很想打斷別人時,做點其他事轉(zhuǎn)移注意力?梢园涯愕慕渲笍囊恢皇种敢频搅硪恢皇种干,或者在紙上打個叉,亦或者在心中默數(shù)十下。那么在你沒有意識到的情況下,你就很輕松地控制住了想要打斷別人的沖動。6.Stay focused: If you're in a business meeting and having a hard time keeping things to yourself, focus by taking meticulous notes. While writing down what's happening, include your personal thoughts and unique ideas to share at the appropriate time.

  6.集中注意力:如果在一個商業(yè)會議中你很難憋住不談自己的想法,那么就通過記載詳細的筆記來集中注意力。在記下會議上討論的內(nèi)容的同時,記下自己的個人觀點和獨特的想法,然后在適當?shù)臅r機與他人分享。

  7.Be the best listener in the room: When you get the itch to interrupt, change the focus to the speaker and transform into the best listener in the room. Nod along, maintain eye contact, and lean into the speaker to show you're listening. This encourages the brain to connect with your auditory skills instead of brainstorming.

  7.做全辦公室最好的傾聽者:當你心癢癢地想打斷別人時,把你的注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到發(fā)言者的身上,并且成為全辦公室最好的傾聽者。在發(fā)言人講話時不斷點頭,保持與發(fā)言人的眼神交流,并且身體斜向他,以此來表明你在認真聽他講話,這會使你的大腦調(diào)用聽覺而不是進行頭腦風暴。

  8.Apologize: The minute you interrupt, apologize sincerely, then immediately stop talking. Acknowledging you've butted in leaves a smart impression. Just make sure to not repeat the mistake.

  8.道歉:在你打斷別人說話后立即真誠地道歉,然后保持沉默。向別人承認自己的插嘴會給對方留下聰明的印象。之后要確保自己不再犯同樣的錯誤。

  9.Zip it: That's right, zip it. During important meetings, or even casual lunches with your favorite friends, keep your mouth closed while others are talking. Imagine your lips are permanently sealed until you're asked a question or the conversation is directed to you.

  9.把嘴巴拉上拉鏈:是的,給嘴巴拉上拉鏈。在重要的會議上,或是和好朋友進行休閑午餐,在別人說話時讓自己閉嘴。想象你的嘴唇被永遠地縫上了,除非回答問題或者話題是針對你的,你才可以開口。

  10.Wait for it: Part of being a good sharer is being a smart listener. Focus on the speaker's sentence structure and style of speech. You'll pick up on clues, such as a deep breath after finishing a thought or the shuffling of papers when moving onto a new topic, tipping you off to the right time for sharing ideas and opinions.

  10.等待時機:一個聰明的傾聽者通常能成為一個好的觀點分享者。注意發(fā)言人講話的句式和演講風格,你將很容易觀察到一些線索,比如在發(fā)言者表達完一個想法后深呼吸,或者發(fā)言者翻動文件以進入下一個話題,這些都給了你提示,在最合適的時機分享自己的想法和觀點。

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